When we talk about grief and bereavement, we often think of the loss of a loved one. We think of the initial aftermath, the death admin, the anger, sadness, fear and guilt, the having to get used to a new existence. But what about other types of loss? Can they have a similar impact?

When the school I had worked at for 16 years closed last month, very suddenly, I was struck by how many of my colleagues and friends used the words ‘grief’ and ‘bereavement’ to describe their experience. People were reeling from the suddenness of it all. One day we had jobs, the next day we didn’t. No real explanation and very little communication. For many of us, it felt as though our worlds had been turned upside down.

For a lot of people, their job is closely tied to their identity. ‘What do you do?’ is one of the first questions we ask each other when we meet. I taught English because I love language, communication and being around people from different cultures. Your job might be your creative outlet, your opportunity to express yourself, your connection to other people or your way of challenging yourself and developing your skills. There can also be a sense of shame or embarrassment connected to losing your job. If I’m not a teacher / lawyer / tree surgeon / postal worker, then what am I?

Then of course, there are the financial implications. To have your source of income taken away and then having to navigate the world of redundancy admin and job searching can be incredibly stressful and frightening. Wading through the paperwork can feel like learning a new language. Many people notice the loss of routine in the wake of losing their job. Their commute, having somewhere to go each day, even just switching on their computer in the morning, these things provide stability and structure to our lives. And then there are the relationships and the contact we have with people through our jobs – colleagues, patients, students, customers… Losing those connections can have a very real impact.

When clients come to me with a loss that doesn’t involve a death, they tend to be quite apologetic – even a little embarrassed. It’s as though they feel their loss doesn’t really qualify for counselling. And of course, losing a job is not the same as losing a loved one. But when you consider how much our jobs can give us, it’s no real surprise that the impact of losing them can be significant. And as with losing a loved one, the loss of a job can impact everyone differently. There can be feelings of deep sadness, anger, fear, shame, relief and more. Acknowledging and allowing these feelings is an important part of the grieving process.

It can also be helpful to consider what your job gave you and think about ways of replicating whatever it is you are missing. What can you do to provide some structure to your day? How can you bring back some connection to others? How might you fulfil that part of you that needs creativity or challenge or a sense of accomplishment?

As always, self-compassion is key. While it may be necessary to dive straight into the process of finding a new job, it is also important to look after yourself and grieve what you have lost. If you've lost a job recently, what small action can you take today to acknowledge your loss and give yourself some space to grieve?